We're All in This Together
Glimmers of Hope in the Midst of Change
Good morning ya’ll! How do you feel about daylight timesaving? It’s pretty nice today when we get to sleep in an extra hour but we will all collectively pay for it in the spring, so don’t be so excited about it!
Family Slice
Oh my everything - I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened last month in October. To my friends I’ve described it as both the worst month ever and the best month ever and my brain is still firing on full processing mode.
It started off by getting some news that was hard to take in. Let’s just say I learned something about myself that needed a lot of love and attention and at the same time some friends really invited me into their lives and gave me such a beautiful month all while my wife was powering our entire house with relentless energy and care.
As I finish writing the above paragraph I know that it looks cryptic and I’m sorry for that but here is my big take away: Ever since I came out (but really, ever since forever) I’ve been all about inviting people into my life, letting people be part of my story, and try to be a light for other people. If you’re an astute reader you may see the glaring omission in the above confession. I invite people in, I let people be part of my story, and I’m a light for other people. All three of these things are on my terms but what happened to the terms of others?
As a person who misses quite some social cues this may have been the biggest one I’ve ever missed before. This last October I didn’t have energy and bandwidth to initiate on my own and instead something else completely happened: I was invited in by friends to be part of their story and they were such a light for me 😭
And at the foundation of it all, my family did the same. I’m so thankful for my children and my wife for dealing with the multilayered walls around me. It’s time for me to let go and be part of other people’s stories too.
This Week’s Special
Note: I am very nervous to write about politics because of today’s polarization. Yes, I vote Democrat and I voted early for Harris and Democrats representing my region but at the same time whenever someone offers a nuanced look, the internet loses its shit over it as if we’re enemies. So I just want to make ya’ll aware that I’m writing the following with a lot of anxiety in my heart but I feel strongly that we don’t need another voice repeating what’s already covering my newsfeed on every station.
Note 2: It’s election week so this week’s special will take up more space than usual.
Last week I read articles in the Verge and Vox with the proud titles like “A Vote for Donald Trump is a Vote for School Shootings” and “Punish Democrats or Stop Trump”. While I am by no means a political analyst, I can’t help wondering why does it have to be this way?
The Verge article seems to imply that if you vote for Trump than you vote for school shootings and the Vox article seems to imply that some people feel that voting for Harris is supporting killing kids in Gaza. I understand where the fears come from but am I the only one that thinks we’re simplifying the human experience to only two options.
There is a reason why I delete my IG after I post things and this line of thinking is exactly what worries me about our society because it’s one that, at least in my opinion, leads to dangerous polarization. We start to dehumanize others and that is something that unfortunately I am a little bit too familiar with to be comfortable letting happen.
So let me move away from the big topics that I know everyone has big opinions on and focus on my experience instead. Every so often I hear trans activists say things like “if you vote Republican you vote against trans people” so let’s break down this comment.
I came out in 2021, which was the first year that the proposed anti-trans legislation bills reached the triple digits but at the same time there seemed to be so much acceptance of my kin everywhere as well. I never could imagine what would follow:
As you can see in the above data, anti-trans legislation skyrocketed already in the year that I came out but took a very scary turn in 2023 and 2024. While I can’t disclose anything from my work at Transmission Ministry Collective, let’s just say that the consensus is that the majority of trans and gender expansive people are very scared right now and, with the way the data is presented to them, I don’t blame them at all.
The emphasis though is on how the data is presented. And not just by sites like translegislation.com - but by all major news outlets. Because if we look deeper at the data we can see that while 143 bills were proposed in 2021, 135 failed and 18 were passed. Don’t get me wrong, 18 is a worrisome number and it’s even more worrisome that the number increased almost 10X to a total of 176 bills accepted between 2021-2024 but that’s not what the media outlets are posting. This is their narrative:
This data makes us believe that in 2024 there are 662 bills being considered and 45 are being passed while the reality is that 45 have passed and 492 have failed and 125 are still being considered as we speak. All concerning numbers of course but the real impact of the numbers is being skewed is the fear mongering. Ask yourself this, what headline is more catchy? “2024 has most anti-trans bills proposed” or “In a victory for trans people, 2024 passed 50% less anti trans bills than 2023.” Fear sells better but both paint a skewed picture.
A much more interesting story is to look at the people that are supposed to protect us. For example in 2021 Biden’s office controlled both the House and the Senate and was able to make big promises because of that. Unfortunately for the trans community, those big changes never happened and to be honest it kinda feels like Democrats are leaving us out to dry right now.
In 2016 the DNC hosted Sarah McBride as the first ever trans speaker and four years later it looked like it was the equality party for the entire LGBTQ community with a whole range of LGBTQ folks, including trans folks, ready to contribute. Fast forward to last summer, there were no trans speakers and what’s worse, only 2 mentions of trans hardships: one by the HRC and the other by Corey Booker.
Let’s let that sink in a little bit… the only politician to speak about us when anti-trans bills are at their most volatile, was Corey Booker?
If you ask me, it kinda feels like we’ve been used in the 2016 and 2020.
So what am I trying to say?
Well, that the reality is very complicated and that’s it’s not as easy as saying “if you vote Republican, you vote against trans rights.” Obviously I’m not happy with the voting behavior of Republicans but they are not our enemies and just because I’m not happy with the voting behavior of Republicans, I’m not going to let that be used as a tool to be uncritical of the party I just voted for.
But what I am going to do is what I believe is my greatest gift and that’s to bring hope to the world, and I will do so with my regular nerdy Lana data:
The Human Rights Campaign said it best with their headline: Reality Check: Leading up to Election Night, Equality is Surging while Anti-Trans Attacks Fall Flat.
So what happened exactly? Well we’ve already seen from the data before that the year is almost over and half the anti-trans bills have passed compared to last year. While that’s still a big number, it also shows that the movement is losing steam.
This election cycle is going be a huge victory for the LGBTQ+ community and we most likely will see the first openly trans person in congress this election (remember 2016 speaker Sarah McBride?).
Opinions about us is also ever shifting in our favor. The progressive polling firm Data for Progress released some surprising and encouraging stats on American’s opinions about us. Well, I would say surprising to some, but I have several Trump supporters in my orbit that also support me - yes we have quite the disagreements but they don’t want me dead nor do they want me to detransition. Just look at this data for example:
You may think that Republicans read this question and think “Democrats should talk less about transgender issues” but I think the next stat is a pretty interesting answer to that:
and this one:
The recent news doesn’t stop there: a Gallup poll showed that voters don’t think transgender issues are as important as the media portrays it. A Sienna poll showed that in key battleground states, 56% of the people agree that trans people should be able to identify with the gender they identify with.
GO VOTE
All those numbers are really promising and help me imagine a world where we are finally seen as people and not subhumans or political tools. However, I still see a good amount of people, especially Republicans, still believe that we don’t deserve the same rights as everyone else.
So while I’m very disappointed in the party that I voted for, I’m still voting for them and I think you should too! Replace today’s topic with the topic that you're passionate about and I can assure you that the numbers skew the same. Whether it’s gun control, universal healthcare, or the environment (anyone noticed that that’s my number 1 concern and for some reason the second to last concern for most Americans, WTF ya’ll) you will see that Harris as opposed to Trump is a much better choice.
Pie-to-Go
☄️Ok, now I’m off to my final Kickball Tournament day - I actually think we could win this season! Wish me luck.