Inviting You in

Because, I'm not coming out

Nov 28, 2025

Over the last couple of days, I've been migrating my podcast to Substack. For the last few weeks, I had some folks tell me that they miss the podcast, and to be honest, I miss it too. So, thank you, everyone, for encouraging me to bring it back. And thanks, Mary, for bringing it up again the other day. Expect an invite for the upcoming season!

For those who are new, I used to have a podcast called “The Models We Live By.” It’s about Mental Models. When I was a grad student at Fuller Theological Seminary, I took a class taught by Dr. Susan Maros about Organizational Leadership. As part of the class, I had to read Peter Senge's book “The Fifth Discipline,” which, in part, is about mental models, and it resonated with me for some reason.

Basically, mental models are how our brain simplifies the world to save energy. Imagine your brain as a miser that wants to hoard as much energy as possible. This works well most of the time, like when you hear screeching tires and jump out of the way. But sometimes, these shortcuts don’t help us at all. They can get in the way of acting rationally. For example, that’s why when you hear “Dr. Smith,” you typically picture a man (and if you don’t, congratulations, you’re one of 13% who don’t). All that said, I find this interesting—that I, Miche Ilana van Essen, often behave and act without knowing why. I started the podcast to gather stories about what mental models other people and I might hold.

I also want to direct y’all to my first two episodes, which answer some of the most-asked questions. Like how I met Jesus, is Kim now suddenly a Lesbian, and how do we navigate our marriage in the midst of my transition? I also explain why I’m calling it “inviting you in” rather than coming out. I’m excited to hear your thoughts.

Seasons 1 Episode 1: