A Failure to Excommunicate
My autobiography?
Just in case you missed it last time: Every Sunday, I’ll post the Sunday Brunch (this newsletter) which is a bunch of thoughts from last week.
Family Slice: on Instagram we (my wife and me) noticed, that the content about our married life was very meaningful to people. So every week I’ll share a thought on our family life.
This Week’s Special: this section is something that happened in the news that was particularly of interest to me. It can be anything - from politics to some local news.
The Crust of the Matter: As a theologian, I have thoughts. As you get to know me, they are quite… interesting haha.
Bytes: I always dreamt of starting a YouTube channel just like MKBHD - obviously this didn’t happen but that doesn’t mean that I’m not super into tech anymore. If anything, I’m even more into tech now than ever since I finished with all my education. This section talks about my geeky tech things of the week. It could have to do with theology, a video game, or some sort of a gadget.
Pie To Go: What’s on my radar for this coming week.
Starting this August I’ll also release a paid newsletter where I will dig deep into some scripture as an intersectional theologian. The first series will be ‘Why the “clobber verses” are not clobber verses’. To get the free newsletter click the button below:
FAMILY SLICE: JOB SEARCHES, UGH
We’re pretty fortunate. We bought our house for a great price, interest rates were super low, and our seller paid our closing costs. We even managed to move while having Covid, thanks to our friend Caroline, who played moving truck Tertris while we played quarantine. All of this luxury was possible because of my wife Kim’s fantastic job, which in turn allowed me to run my Management Consulting Firm low key and have a side gig that pays more in gratitude rather than livable currency.
But then, like soufflé, it all deflated this past June. Kim lost her job, our financial cushion ran out, and job interviews are few and far between.
Our amazing community was quick to help; bringing pastries, giving some pep talks, and even helping us pay bills. But I’m going to be real here: I was already wrestling with depression and trauma triggers, and this financial rollercoaster has sent me down memory lane, when I was in a psych ward in my early 20s. The job search, the uncertainty, and the very real possibility of selling our house to pay our bills is just the cherry on top.
I’ve learned some life lessons though:
In the US, you can be just a few paychecks away from having to sell your house. While in the Netherlands, where I’ve hit rock bottom a few time, there are so many systems in place that resulted in me never have to sleep on the streets for more than few days.
Therapy matters! Don’t get me wrong, I feel like an human shaped ball of existential dread most days. But 28 years of therapy is really paying off here. I get out and make my bed, I open the curtains, I hang out with friends, I go to my workouts, and I still make music. Take that depression! Each task feels like shouldering the weight of the world, but I do it anyway and I’m always at least 20% happy afterwards.
My therapist sage advice was this: enjoy the good moments and don’t judge the bad moments. Yesterday I was listening to some throwback, cringy Relient K songs while doing a jigsaw puzzle with Kim and I found myself dancing around the kitchen island. I complained to Kim that in ten minutes I’d probably feel like the sky is falling down again. But you know what? For those ten minutes, I was the queen of the kitchen disco, and that’s what matters!
THIS WEEK’S SPECIAL: THE ROAD TO THE DNC CONVENTION
Last week was a political roller coaster that would make even the most seasoned DC insider reach for the Dramamine. The news cycle was absolutely dominated by Kamala Harris and her team. Critics may be reluctant to say that she’s got a chance but the positivity and momentum that she’s gaining suggests the she has more than a chance:
The Harris campaign raised 81 million dollar in 24 hours, which apparently is a 24 hour presidential race record.
60 percent of these contributors are first time donors for the 2024 elections.
Harris already racked up endorsements from all top Republicans but what was more interesting was that organizations that historically shied away from endorsing any candidate, like March for Life, have this time chosen to endorse Harris.
The latest polls suggest that Harris closed the gap between herself and Trump, suggesting that it wasn’t the Democrats but Biden that didn’t have favorable views.
So yes, there’s quite some momentum building and I feel it personally too. Between you and me, I was going to write in Jill Stein as my first presidential election pick since becoming a US citizen. But Harris has me all excited and optimistic and I’ll likely vote for her.
I’m still worried though. Yes, the rhetoric on the right is familiar: Harris is too progressive (something I worry about too, more on that in a future newsletter), Harris has a weird demeanor (if true, not exactly out of place in today’s politics), and Harris is a threat to our democracy. There are bingo cards for this!
But progressives do it all the time as well. The Lincoln Project, for example posted “Harris is the warrior America needs to soundly defeat Donald Trump and Project 2025.” Are we really at war? My war experience may have been mild but we still had to hide in a room with gas masks on every time the air raid alarms went off, scary stuff. And no, January 6th, while scary, was still not a war.
What I’m getting at is that this polarizing language is not getting us anywhere. Both parties are yelling that the other candidate is a threat to our democracy and I don’t think that’s helpful. I believe that the majority of this country, Republican and Democrat alike, just want to live and afford their energy bill, I know I am. When is the last time you actually sat down with your Trumper uncle to hear if he believed in Christian Nationalism or Project 2025? And for the record, Trump’s agenda is called agenda49, not Project 2025.
Maybe we all need to take a deep breath or eat some… quiche or so. Our neighbors (read: Republicans) are not our enemies and neither do we have to emulate the their rhetoric. Whatever comes after “But they…” is not good enough for me.
THE CRUST OF THE MATTER: JESUS’S TABLE MANNERS
Remember that Relient K throwback evening I mentioned? Well, one song, “Failure to Excommunicate”, hit me particularly hard:
It's the principal, it's the issue
That your principal would dismiss you
Because you don't fit into the all-American box
That coffin created for creative thought
I don’t know what he’s singing about but I definitely feel it deep in my bones. This is at the core of my worldview and theology of ambiguity. So let’s break it down one flakey pastry crust at a time.
It is very tempting to adhere to principals. They give us guidance, they function as a rule of life, and they could help us put our lives in service of God. All of these things are great but what we can’t forget is that sometimes our principles, or doctrines if you will, conflict with the tennets of Christianity. It’s like confusing the recipe with the main ingredients.
For example “the union between a man a woman” is a doctrine, but “love your neighbor as yourself” is a tenet. And no, I’m not pulling a “in essential unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity” card here. While an admirable attempt, this is exactly what puts the union between man and woman in the essentials category and giving power for people to decide what essentials are. I’m talking tenets and for me there are two that I know we all agree on:
Love the Lord with all your heart
Love your neighbor as yourself
So when Jesus incarnated and walked the earth what did he do? He strived to love the Lord and loved his neighbor as himself. I say strive, because I believe he messed up a couple of times but that’s a story for another time haha.
At some point the song continues with “Jesus loves the outcasts, he loves the ones the world just loves to hate. And as long as there’s a heaven, there’ll be a failure to excommunicate.” And I don’t know why, I get teary eyed even as I’m writing this. I’m feeling this deeply because I’ve been cast out of the faith community because of my queer existence. Ask yourself this though: is my queer existence a tenet or a doctrine? Because my trans existence, my pansexual orientation, my Asian heritage, my jewishness - none of these are the problem.
Here’s a hot take: it’s okay to disagree or be uncomfortable with my trans existence (I mean, I’d rather you didn’t, but I can’t control your thoughts). What’s not okay is to exclude me from your family dinner table. I promise, I’m more scared of you than you are of me.
Jesus dined with lepers who were actually contagious. Jesus hung out with tax collectors, the original “bad influence on children”. I’m neither contagious nor a bad influence but let’s for argument’s sake say I am. Jesus still showed up. He didn’t lecture them on their symptoms or career choices. He just modeled life.
BYTES: WHEN ALGORITHMS FEED THE BEAST OF MISINFORMATION
We all had that friend who'd argue the sky wasn't blue just to be contrary. I remember having one such friend: with me as a captive audience on a bike ride, asking if I thought darkness is the absence of light or light the absence of darkness. I knew full well that whatever I answered, he’d argue for the opposite. My bike ride just got a lot longer. Well, imagine that friend got a megaphone, a million followers, and an algorithm designed to amplify their voice. Welcome to the digital hellscape of 2024, folks!
The New York Times recently dropped a bombshell: social media engagement spikes every time someone makes an outlandish claim. Case in point: Elon Musk's tweet after the Butler, PA shooting ("Extreme incompetence or it was deliberate") racked up a whopping 92 million views. Not to be outdone, Alex Jones gained 50,000 new followers (compared to his usual 1,000) after claiming the attack was orchestrated by "Biden's puppet masters." It's like watching a dumpster fire and realizing people are roasting marshmallows over it.
Bot accounts are joining the misinformation party, spreading fake news faster than your grandpa can hit "share." Nearly half of the accounts claiming the attack was staged were fake, yet they generated 400,000 interactions. So if you've seen your grandpa reposting that story, not only is it inaccurate, but he's also unknowingly become a bot's best friend.
Now, before my left-leaning readers get too comfortable, let's remember this isn't just a Republican game. Sensationalism sells across party lines. Just last week, we all believed that JD Vance had sex with his couch, AOC once claimed that the world will end in 2032 due to global warming, and let's not forget the great pangolin-COVID theory that had us all side-eyeing exotic pet shops.
According to Pew Research, more people are turning to social media for news. Half of X users get their news there, with 25% citing it as a major reason to stay on the platform. The problem? These platforms serve you news based on what they think you'll interact with most. Add in the fact that X pays influencers based on post performance, and you've got a recipe for misinformation stew.
So, what's a critical thinker to do in this age of algorithmic echo chambers? First, diversify your news sources. Second, remember that if it sounds too outrageous to be true, it probably is. And finally, maybe we all need to channel that annoying childhood friend and start questioning everything – respectfully, of course.
In the meantime, I'll be over here, trying to figure out if darkness is really just the absence of light, or if I've been lied to my whole life. Stay skeptical, my friends!
PIE TO GO
Last week I said that last week was going to packed but I take it back, this week is going to be packed:
🗞️ I’ll be following the Harris campaign closely. It’s unclear to me when the VP candidate will be presented but a few names are being surfaced. To be honest, I wish it would’ve just been Gretchen Witmer but I think the Harris strategy team is trying to make their campaign more palatable and has decided to pick a white man. I don’t know enough about the candidates so I’ll be digging through their history this week.
📖 I’ve been looking forward to start a meta analysis on bias in research. I was talking with a friend and fellow volleyball team member about how to approach bias in research. Do you disclose your standings, worldviews, and identity? The reason why this came up is the Cass report that was presented to the NHS last April. It’s an independent report backed by both Labour and Torries in the UK and essentially states that there is not enough evidence to suggest that puberty blockers have any effect on the wellbeing of trans teenagers. This is in stark contrast to the reply Yale gave as well as WPATH and tech APA. So my question is - who’s biased and can we conduct a meta analysis on if/how the bias of the researcher is influencing their results.
🏐 Did I already mention that Stonewall started their sand volleyball league? We had two matches already and we were beaten in both those matches. In all honestly, only a few actually know how the play the game, and I’m not one of them. But it’s so much fun! I somehow find volleyball the most enjoyable sport and I’m happy to have the opportunity to play it now.